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What are some of the signs when our relationships begin to fall apart? Here’s a short list:


You’ve stopped enjoying discussing things with each other

Your partner is not interested in hearing what you have to say

Your time together seems to drag on

You don’t really like hanging out or having fun together


Most of us seem to just live with this until the arguments start escalating and we notice that we’ve become critical and defensive. Or worse still, we feel quite a lot of contempt for our partner. That’s never a good sign, because contempt is one of the indicators that our relationship is likely to fail completely.


How can couples/ relationship counselling help? Like most of us, you might think it’s about improving your communication, getting better at solving conflicts and sorting out what might now appear to be a lack of anything in common with each other.


Well that’s true enough, with one qualification. Research has shown that what attracted us to the other person in the first place can become the very thing that seems to be the deal-breaker. And so, for example, now instead of being interested in your partner’s opinion on the really important issues, before you know it, you’re fighting with each other (again!).


So back to that question. How can couples/ relationship counselling help?


Initially, if you’re at the point of going your separate ways, then rebuilding your friendship can be extremely important. After all, that’s where it all began. And further down the counselling road, it will mean being clear about the relationship you intend to have. Intend-to-have is a powerful (empowering) idea – a little different from want-to, need-to, should …. have.


It’s not uncommon to find counsellors that will want to see you as a couple, followed by an individual session, and then back to seeing you as a couple.


What to do next? If you’re thinking about couples/ relationship counselling, then please book an appointment. If that’s not an option right now and you’d like to work through relationship issues by yourself, then also please book an appointment.



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